Does your boyfriend/girlfriend:
- Have a history of bad relationships or past violence; always blames his/her problems on other people; or blames you for "making" him/her treat you badly?
- Try to use drugs or alcohol to coerce you or get you alone when you don't want to be?
- Try to control you by being bossy, not taking your opinion seriously or making all of the decisions about who you see, what you wear, what you do, etc.?
- Talk negatively about people in sexual ways or talk about sex like it's a game or contest?
- Try to isolate you from your friends and family—talks up their flaws, puts them down.
- Feel less confident about yourself when you're with him/her?
- Feel scared or worried about doing or saying "the wrong thing?"
- Find yourself changing your behavior out of fear or to avoid a fight?
To speak to a peer advocate 24/7 call: 1-866-331-947 or visit www.loveisrespect.org
Love isn't about power and control. Abuse is about power and control.
Resources: National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline; Loveisrespect.org
Rape
If you have been raped, or are in a relationship with someone who has been raped, then I urge you to read C.J. Hale's article:
12 Things No One Told Me About Sex After Rape